Why it bothers so much after a certain period of time?

I love someone,and i can pretty well deal with it..but, am not into a relationship coz m pathetically bad in continuing with the same! Its as simple as that! Period!
Love and Relationship! Two sides of the same coin? maybe yes! maybe no! or two diverse versions that binds two individuals together? Dealing with the former seems easier - a kiss,a heartbeat skipped,holding hands,walking down the seashore,walking under the moon,love making-on and off bed,on the terrace,balcony,beach house,open air..waking up next to someone..all these without any baggage,without any expectations,apprehensions!

Dealing with the latter seems tough after the initial likeness and penchant for each other seems delusional after a point of time! A face seems unattractive after a certain time, a body seems monotonous after a period of continuous sex for successive days, the never ending endless talks seems boring after a point, there's seems to be lack of words, soothing,calming love talk turns into violent outbursts, sometimes..trying to escape out of such outbursts leads into a numb period of silence,and you wait..and wait..and just wait...! your heart craves for something,and u do the exact opposite of it!
Relationships equals to Expectations! and there u go...end it! Expectations...too many to count, too many to comply to..'I need to/You have to be/I ought to/You have to/Come now/Call me now'...even if u dont want to,you have to..comply
ITS EXAM TIME NOW!
Question and answer round! never ending ones... 'Why? Where? When?Whose?What?'...the queries keeps pouring in and you have to answer..with explanation! monosyllable answers wont do, brief or theoretical explanation counts here..that ceases all your worries, cools down your temper,and in return u get a bigggg hug!! viva done,got ur marks,excellent score,time for a hug,and a quick sex to make up for the huge bouts of nerve wrecking questions!!

That Something,Someone called LOVE!!

A simpleton. A simple soul. A simple life. A simple being. A mere simple person. From a very simple small town,here's his story! He wakes up early morning at 6, finishing his chores, he does some yoga, takes his bath, he is a religious soul, he prays for an hour! he does meditation..eats his breakfast. Goes to college.Comes back home by evening. Checks his mails, attends few calls, watches tv silently, time for dinner, time to sleep! He doesn't mingle around with his friends, he doesn't have much friends to talk about. His life is simple, his life is just his own! Sounds pretty boring eh? but..he has a charm..when he talks, he is witty..when he is with me, he is adventurous..when he is naughty, and...he is a maniac..when we watches movies!
.....and i fell in love with that boring simple soul!

He came to The Big City..searching for a job, his resume was super cool,he was instantly hired by a well to do MNC. His work life began. Morning to evening working for life, working for the big bucks, working to make it big! And yes...big it was..pretty big!! And in that very big city,he found a new life...a life filled with friends, parties, late night outs, friends, alcohol, pubs, bars, shoppings, the nitty gritty of the big razmataz city life lured him,and he earned to make it big,to make it there..at the top! and boy! he made it really big!! He sounds interesting now? yes he does....
..... but,he didn't seem interesting afterwards! i searched for the charm..couldn't find! I searched for his humor..seems lost! he lost his adventurous streak...seemed like a man made machine! movies were replaced with computers and digits! the simpleton was replaced with an arrogant soul!
......and so, i started hating that big rejuvenated city guy!

.............and then...someone died...we cried.. we buried... we prayed.. we hugged...turned over..never to look back again....that someone, something..called LOVE!! 

HOUSE OF MEMORIES!!

A house where i have spend almost 2 and half years of my life.A house which i used to refer as our love den! I seldom hated travelling such a long journey from my own house to our love den! but then, there was always the attachment, the bond,the fulfillment and the ecstasy of spending days and nights with u...how time flies, how we have crossed those years,how we have survived those blissful years..and how you have gone out of my life..along with that house!
somewhere,i thought it was bound to happen,felt the same while bidding goodbye to the house for one last time,when you moved out of the house and shifted to another place...i knew somewhere, that along with the house,i too m finally bidding you goodbye..forever..from my life..it was just an irony to stay attached for few more months,but the end was then..there..at that moment..when i finally saw you coming down the terrace with your luggage from our love den!
But,even after almost more than a year of our separation from that love den,the smell of that house lingers in my nostrils, the moments that we have spend torments me sometime, i still cherish those love making sessions on the terrace,in your bedroom...the kitchen..where i had hugged you and hold you in my arms for the first time..all those seems to be a dream now...well..it has now remained a part and parcel of my past,in my dreams...to remain within me,for the rest of my life! Life moves on...i too, have moved on,so I dont miss your presence at all, but i do miss those wonderful moments that i have spend with you

Found out a long lost note that you had written about me..i guess so... :

"Came across another turning point of life..made a grt blunder of my life..but u wr der..u saved my life frm getting ruined..i had mistakn you..bt u came 2 me n drove away all my sorrows..excused my faults..once again i understd you,could feel you..a tear ws dropped dat took me more n more closer to you..yes der s an abstract entity called 'Relationship'--God's purest blesings..i had faith in it n still it's d same..its our own fault dat v cant see bt bein forced v blame on d right person..bt as tym passes d actual scene s revealed..Dear m sorry to d power of infinity..cant express dat how much m filled wid u..i swear..m soo glad dat m on my own now...its our life altogether..we two..yes i can deal with it better without any 'fake' support system which vanishes after a due course of time...but u r always there,and U will be..U and my parents..touchwood!!..love you..always....."

The smell of love...!!

It is said that every individual, every human being has their own smell,..the odor of their body (nah! i dont mean it in a bad way!), a specific scent of an individual that differentiates them from each other..Newborn babies and their mothers can identify each other by smell alone within hours of the birth. well, we have seen SCENT OF A WOMAN, wonder why nobody has ever made SCENT OF A MAN!! When u share a part of your life with someone, your loved ones, people you are more closer with,..you get acquainted with their body's odor..And..when u are in love,then it is this particular 'Scent' that strengthens your bond,your attachment..to that one specific person for the rest of your life..

So,

this is for you...

That lingering smell of yours,i cant help but breath in every time you hug me,you are with me..your sweat's specific "Scent" which gets me into the mood..and how it lingers in my memory when you are apart...!

and nope! its not your cologne or the perfume that excites me..because i have been practically in love with the smell of your sweat!! The scent of your sweat intoxicates me,at times..drives me crazy (too mushy?) well..maybe it's your pheromones (Which I have heard do not exist or that humans cannot detect them, but I still wonder!) :)

Traffic chaos in a metro!!

Recently,travelling on the way,suddenly one of my friend in an almost child like baritone exclaimed in ecstasy "Arre waah! dekho kitni saari gaadiyan khari hai,par kiyu?", then one of my other friend,her room mate (witty at her best!) answered sharply to her query "Dekh le acchi tarah, isko bolte hai TRAFFIC JAM!"......

so for those who have seen Anurag Basu's LIFE IN A METRO,trust me,that movie has shown nothing about the chaos of living in a metro coz undoubtedly the biggest,annoying and irritating part (scream aarrrgghh!!) of a metro are not the frizzle relationships (damn with your pyar mei dhoka, cheating on ur spouse,ditching ur partner...all those are primitive now!) ,but these annoying everyday ka 'jheloying' aspect of our lives..THE TRAFFIC JAMS! check...silk board, koramangala, bomanahalli to name a few! and...the metro rail constructions???? bhaiyya, hum to 5 saal pehle jaise thhe, waise hi thik hai! end it fast or kill it soon! god knows how long it will go on!!

Bebo's halkat jawani...!!

And so...the quintessential bollywood heroine's 'lip-biting' act..Perfect!! :-)

OMG! i have started liking Bebo! last i loved her in her 'Chammak Challo' moves (sp. that bharatnatyam jig),and now with 'halkat jawani',its those 'forbidden' expressions that gets full marks from me..Bang on!! the only other actress who was capable of these raunchy lascivious 'LIP-BITING' act was Madhuri Dixit,and Bebo did her job solidly and perfectly well..She's undoubtedly raunchy, perky, catchy and infectious swooning over 'Night ki naughty Kahaani, yeh Halkat Jawani....'

Anand and Kal ho na ho revisited..but charmingly!!

Loved Srijit Mukherji's latest outing HEMLOCK SOCIETY....but...A WORD OF CAUTION : Don't ever think of tagging along with someone who has had a heartbreak recently, to go watch this film,or don't even sit beside a broken heart while u watch this film...I went along with a friend of mine without realizing the same,that she broke off with her boyfriend few months back..and hey bhagwan! she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed!! :/ and i m pathetically bad in consoling people! that too in the middle of a movie!! that too inside the theater!! hello? oh! and no matter how far u go with ur words ("dont cry/it happens/life goes on/calm down babe/forget him, he was a jerk/ye,wo/la la la la/lu lu lu")..naah!! doesn't work..the sobbing continues!! and i wept too...for Parambrata...but nobody consoled me!! 

Thanks to Venkatesh Films for screening the film in bangalore,needless to say..it was worth all the wait! cries and laughter altogether..the satire wrapped in dark humour amidst romance with the tongue-in-cheek dialogues (sp. by Parambrata and Dipankar) makes it a completely entertaining flick!..Noteworthy are few dialogues that deserve applauds..eg; thr's this girl who goes out partying/hooking up every night telling her live in partner that his 'third grade male accessory' is not worth anymore ;-) (ah! how i wish i could say that!)

And finally, Bengali cinema has really come a long way,the usual chaotic howrah bridge has been finally replaced and quite stunningly by the hoogly bridge! special mention to the song sequences(splendidly choreographed "Ei to aami chai"!)

P.S. : this is the first time i have watched a Koyel Mullick film on the big screen and i wonder whats her height!!!??? coz she looks very much petite on the screen (upar se,she was wearing sandals!) nevertheless, loved her for the first time...finally her silly giggles have stopped! particularly,loved the smudged look and the nude lip shade she was wearing all throughout the film!

Eagerly waiting for Srijit Mukherji's next flick....

A Passion play...!!

You...awakening the siren in me...You,who live and breathe to quench

your sensual thirst.

You...with your words of passion ignite in me... a flame

likened after St.Elmo's Fire....never to be extinguished.

You stroking..

the flames of that forbidden ‘immoral’ fire within me ....nightly

My soul...

now simmers in this cauldron of passion, a 98 degrees, as I envision you biting...

and me scratching ...

my nails down that long chocolate torso of yours.

As I expand the space inside my soul to receive you.

Now my vision doubles as I get a mental glimpse of the fever

in your lips...causing physical reactions in me

causing me to take small sips,so that I may readily

embrace your unbridled fire....and match your pace.

Allowing you refuge inside my sanctuary as you melt all the

Forbidden doors inside me, marking my body with your Essence

Ravaging me...like a soul stirring beast

mixing pleasure and pain simultaneously

as we become...an unstoppable force of nature..!

You receive...

those places in me that make me desire you with

everything in me...

I give myself to you..to drink deeply..of me

Till you are drunk off of the nectar

To you....I gladly give

All that I am..!!

Something more than 'Just Love'..!!

And our never ending craziness for movies and books prevails..;) spending hours discussing on films,every detail..every scene..difference in opinion..arguing..and you torture me more when i finally give up and sulk! we have shared everything in all these years, our lives,moments,our happiness..disappointments..great/rough times,moments when i have disappointed you terribly..but you have stayed through..with me..all these years..

You remember how often we discuss about the best cinematic moments of love making ? (A walk in the clouds, Sweet september, La Dolce Vita, Casablanca,The namesake, Kannathil muttamittal, Maurice, The french Lieutenant's woman etc..to name a few), and we had these long discussions on how we would like to interpret those in our own 'respective lives'.Little did i knew then,those moments that i discussed with you.. my best friend,would turn out to be one of 'our' best moments..together,with each other!

I still cant' recall anything about last night,wined and dined with Oprah to give us company ;) don't know who indulged whom or who initiated the process,maybe that didn't matter at all..coz you were there..our closeness, your hands on my face..the warmth of your breath, and the kiss! 

I remember waking up..

to the sound of the rain drops splashing against the window panes!

We woke up to a blissful rainy day..and i love it!!..just the way i loved it when you whispered in my ear and the words you said (utmost silly words though and more than that the stupid song that you started humming! ;D )..snuggling with you under the blanket..curling up in those arms..and while you were lying over me,i knew there's no way i can get off the bed,so i let myself enjoy the warmth of your chest beneath my cheeks..and our passion that has left us weak!!..
Still wrapped up against each other, you took out Shakespeare and started reading out few sonnets, and so i thought..let me rephrase a sonnet..in my own way.. ;)

Those LIPS that LOVE'S own hand did make

Breathed forth the sound that said "I hate"

that languished for my sake;

But when i saw his woeful state,

Straight in my heart did mercy come,

Chiding that TONGUE that ever sweet,

Was used in giving gentle doom,

And taught it thus anew to GREET..!!

My Obsession with Ray (part 1)

I can't recall since when my obsession with Ray's films had started..but it was much later,because my initial fixation for bengali art house cinema had started with Rituparno Ghosh and Aparna Sen's movies,i was, and m still biased towards Ghosh's cinema,though i had certain reservations with some of Sen's films ( Sati for instance!)..I think the first Ray movie that i saw was Jai baba Felunath,which was being aired at one of the movie channels,liked it ,but then m not much inclined towards feluda stories! It was years later when i saw Pather Panchali and watched it twice in succession.The film moved me so much that for few days the images of Indir thakuron, Sarbojaya, Apu and Durga kept coming back again and again.Each and every scene evolved like a beautiful canvas on screen with the nature in its full glory,well..won't go into much detail about the film,a lot have been said for so many decades..in short, i loved it immensely,then i went onto watch the other two parts of the trilogy Aparajito and Apur Sansar. True to all the reviews that i had heard before, the trilogy really opened up the prospects for a whole new generation of Indian film makers to the international arena..The trilogy had so much of an effect on me that immedietly i brought the dvd's of Charulata, Devi, Jalsaghar, Teen Kanya,Mahanagar, Kanchenjunga, Abhijan, Nayak and Kapurush O Mahapurush, spending almost all my pocket money! Days after days i was hooked up with each and every film,though i must admit that Jalsaghar, Kapurush o mahapurush and Hirak Rajar Deshe were films which i felt was worth of just a one time watch,while films like Chidiyakhana, Ganashatru and Shakha Proshakha were nowhere near to Ray's other masterpieces, but films like Mahanagar, Devi, Aranyer Din ratri, Nayak and most importantly Charulata had an overwhelming effect on me,had watched them couple of times! In between i had seen one of the Calcutta Trilogy film, Pratidwandi..i admit,i didn't like it then,because that was a time when i was drooling over the aura of the Apu tirlogy and Charulata overshadowing my sensibilities on films being based upon the socio political scenario of the state, much later when i had read John W Hood's book 'Beyond the world of Apu' and had watched all three of the Calcutta trilogy (Pratidwandi, Seemabaddha and Jana Aranya) that i understood the concept of the trilogy clearly and liked it. I don't know why people still compare Mrinal Sen's Calcutta trilogy (Interview, Calcutta 71, Padatik) with that of Ray's, because both of them had different outlook and approach towards film making and they both, according to me, have done justice to their respective films. The same can be said about both of their endeavors towards the subject of Calcutta famine..Sen's Akaler Sandhane and Ray's Ashani Sanket .

EK DIN ACHANAK (Dir : Mrinal Sen)

Ah! Finally got to watch the one flick i had been waiting endlessly for years..and how i loved it! A perfect women centric flick in all aspect featuring my most admirable actors together..Aparna Sen, Shabana Azmi, Roopa Ganguly and of course, a commendable supporting act by Uttara Baokar (well deserved National award 1989 for Best Supporting actress), supported competently by Shreeram Lagoo, Anil Chatterjee, Arjun Chakraborty..The film excellently captures the vagaries of life in a typical middle-class bengali household facing quietly and morosely a dilemma,after the mysterious disappearance of its patriarch! Shabana Azmi's character reminded me so much of Meghe dhaka Tara's Neeta ,while at times it might remind you of Shabana Azmi's yet another role in a much recent  flick 15 Park Avenue..Aparna Sen shines through the role of a student who's deep and poignant relationship with her professor is left unsolved while Roopa Ganguly enacts her part as the younger sibling efficiently

Mrinal Sen is well known for bringing out the pathos of the middle class household as we have witnessed in some of his major works like Akash kusum, Kharij, Ek din pratidin, and this one too categorizes as one of the must watch films of Indian cinema showcasing the 70's and 80's of the middle class efficiently!

P.S. : I wonder who did the dubbing for Aparna Sen in the film..the voice over seems so much familiar!

My heart still goes out for Jack..!!

Oh boy! I can't even get a man to open a door for me! Let alone, give me the door to float on while he freezes to death !! (Crap! here goes my romantic instincts again!)

(De Caprio looked so much sexier with his boyish charm appeal instead of his recent urbane GANGS OF NEW YORK look!)

15 years later, i ve had my first big screen TITANIC experience today..bigger and better with the 3D version! Why it is still hated by some critics, I will never know..Cliched love story might be, but nonetheless, it still remains my utmost romantic flick (few more tissues for me please!)..particular scenes ceases to fade out of my memory like..

*For the last time Rose tells the already dead Jack "Ill never let go" followed by a kiss on his hands, then she lets him go,and he slowly sinks into the 'Heart of the ocean'..

*The rather old and fragile Rose tells her listeners, 'I don't even have a picture of him; he exists now, only in my memory…' A simple, yet beautiful and poignant moment, one that we can all relate with,especially for those amongst us who particularly cherish their memories, whatever they might be..

*The scene where a mother reads a story for her children while the ship sinks haunts me forever...and oh yes! James Horner's hauntingly beautiful score..

Have'nt we watched this one bfo? Oh yes! countless times! So what makes this one special? The first time i watched it was through poor quality VCR player,later with the advent of prime time television and DVDs ,the picture became much more clearer! and now bigger and better with the 3D version!!

Class Apart..!!

The Kohl streaked smoky eyes with added lashes and a touch of mascara to heighten the alluring look,perfectly well defined lips, and pastel shaded chiffons to give her that enigmatic look on screen!!

'Ugly Duckling turning into a beautiful Swan'...Ok we have heard that before! (read Rekha!!) but then what really goes into a complete makeover, and that too gracefully,without going under the knife or double dose of botox is simply evident in our 'Kadsburry'...Kajol..From a lean, dark, grotesque teen in Baazigar, with some thunder thighs to acknowledge her beauty in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge ( recall 'mere khwabo mein jo aaye' song..white skirt!! who recommended that skirt for her? Manish?? ;/ ;/ ), circulating the award ceremonies with her plain jain,oil coated hair,and double sized glasses.. she metamorphosed into a charming delight post KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI....and all thanks to her mentors Manish Malhotra, Mickey Contractor, Gautam Rajadhyaksha and a certain friend called Karan Johar...She stands apart from the rest of the crowd..undoubtedly!!

Its just about You.....!! (Part 1)

Seldom (or may i say,in most of the cases) people are not clear about their priorities, what do they actually seek or are looking for in a relationship..I know some people who end up being 'in a relationship' just for the sake of it or just to show off themselves in front of their peers by flaunting their boyfriends/girlfriends..Its being 'in vogue' they say....
The biggest mistake we do is in selecting the right person,and we realize it when its already too late,so when problem starts erupting,we try our best to salvage the situation either by compromising with our inner thoughts or just erasing out the problem from our mind!

You were never meant for any relationship coz ur priorities were pre fixed somewhere else (and i do respect religious sentiments) and u knew it very well..but, u thought i didn't knew..yes! i came to know about it few months later after we came back from kolkata in 2010 (someone close to u had told me the same),and since then,i had known that we..together...US...is totally doomed!!

You have lived a life entirely based on ur religious thoughts,sentiments,ur believe in that 'holy one',which is very rare in today's time, i have always respected you for that, but then...leaving behind your hometown when u hailed to a land full of oppurtunities (did i say guys here?),somewhere down the line u got soaked with the razzmataz of the city's lifestyle...specially with the dating scenario,so u tried to explore that side of yours,being on a dating site,meeting people,going on dates,night outs,sexual escapades etc.. etc.. Now u have a serious problem,u trust people blindly! specially with the ones you are physically attracted to, or u are obsessed with,and so u ended up being with people who have just played with ur trust,ur feelings,taking u up just as a sex tool or someone to vent out their pass times (hell! even for money!)....We need friends in our life,luckily for u, u are blessed with some incredibly wonderful friends in your life (don't lose them),but then there came a point in your life when u were devoid of any friends,so u wanted to get hooked up with every single person (again,physical attraction surfaces!) that came ur way...and I WAS SIMPLY...ONE OF THEM!!

THE STREETWALKER...!!

Neon cascade washes her

peroxide-blonde raven black,

silhouettes at the shoulder.

Dark lashes open/close as each new actor,         

touches, tastes, and kills his ardour.

Confectioner’s shop with plastic display,                          

barley sugar lips, candy floss hair,

eyes lozenge-grey.

Walking,past the green youth in the theatre square,

to the striptease-joint, where raincoats stare,

through alcoholic or excited haze,

for the long-legged lady in black-net.

Her hair entices you.

Her hips seduce you.

Her backside confuses you.

Her sway draws you.

When you walk with her

you walk in fields of fire.

When you lay with her

the flames lick your body.

When you join with her

you are left a pile of ash....

Romancing the Sea....

I have always been fascinated by the sea since my childhood.I remember i was in school,after my IVth standard final exams,i went to Puri,Orissa for the first time,along with my family, during my summer vacation.Puri, being famous for Shri Jagannath dhaam and 'The sea',bay of bengal....that was my first encounter with the sea,needless to say,the memories of the sea are still so vivid on my mind!..

Almost 16 years later i had my second encounter with the sea,at Kanyakumari, and was overwhelmed once again with the sound of the giant sea waves splashing against the shores (and me!) and the very confluence of the three water bodies - The Bay of Bengal, The Arabian Sea and The Indian ocean,'Triveni Sangam' as it is commonly referred as! The bus journey from Madurai to Kanyakumari is quite a pleasant one, unlike the bumpy road journeys we mostly come across with..Me and my friend,we reached our destination at around 2am,so i had to wait for 4 hours more to get a glimpse of the sea!

Rain and the sea shore..walking down a serene beach holding a special someone's hand! That's my most cherished dream (cliched as it might sound..) and one of my ultimate romantic moment! When people ask me 'What's your perfect idea of a romantic date?'...my answer would be undoubtedly - 'Rains, sea shore, kenny G,sound of the splashing waves,the breeze and a hand to hold onto'...Though the serenity was quite evident at the Chothavillai beach and Sanguthurai beach at kanyakumari (beautiful beaches!) but there was no sign of rain that day (scorching heat actually!) that i missed..and even though i had a company,my friend Sourav Das,still.. there was no holding hands or any of those romantic moments with a special 'someone' that i have always desired for...

At one point,i remember,my friend was busy collecting sea shells and i was just walking along the beach,was in a complete trance (well!the sea does that to me!)...and strangely then,i was somehow feeling extremely low with that loneliness (that actually doesn't happen always)..Suddenly i saw a stranger sitting nearby (and he was quite dishy!) and i had this utmost urge to go to him and ask 'Will u hold my hand and walk along with me through the beach?' ;) silly actually,but i wish i had the guts to at least go and say that...who knows, may be, he would have complied!

Are we still gonna say 'Its a male dominated industry'??

Do we still need superstars to sell our films? What happened to the reigning queen Kareena Kapoor's latest flick 'Ek main aur ek tu'? Or for instance, Shahrukh Khan's 'Ra - One'? Well..sometimes we do need stars to sell some shitty films (Ready, Bodyguard!) but for those,all credit goes to the masses, because you can't fool around with the multiplex junta! So, gone are the 80's and 90's where actresses were used just as mere props to dance around with their leading co stars or to get raped by the villains! (?), its time to celebrate womanhood! time for women oriented flicks to set the cash registers ringing at the box office! its time to say goodbye to those 40 plus actors banging and bashing up aliens/goons or dancing around with 20 something heroines onscreen (that too, shamelessly)!!

Sujoy Ghosh's Kahaani is a gripping,fast paced screenplay altogether right from its commencement to conclusion. Vidya is wonderful,no doubt...but the film shines all throughout primarily because of 3 aspects :

a) a well crafted story line (Ghosh along with novelist Advaita Kala),

b) volley of first rate supporting characters who makes the film come alive (entire Bong Gang here!) Parambrata Chatterjee (impressive), Dhritiman Chatterjee, Kharaj Mukherjee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui (brilliant,ruthlessness at its best!),Saswata Chatterjee (excellent cameo),Abir Chatterjee, and Indraneil Sengupta (and..i go gasping for breath every time he shows up!) and the 2 child artists...

c) the star of the film..the city..kolkata! with its lanes,by lanes, metros,trams,streets,kumortuli,idols,old buildings,tea stalls..the colour,vibrancy,and the liveliness of durga puja..all comes alive beautifully! We have witnessed the same city before in recent times (Parineeta, Yuva, The Namesake), but never before the city has unfolded in such charming delight!

Vidya has undoubtedly played her cards very well in bollywood,placing herself as one of the brilliant performers in recent time,someone who's always been tailor made for women centric flicks ( Parineeta, Paa, No one killed Jessica, The dirty Picture and Kahaani) ,at times, reminding me of another 90's actress Tabu....Tabu, like Vidya, had also initiated her career with commercial potboilers, but in due course of time has proved her mettle with author backed roles in Maachis, Chandni Bar, Astitva, Virasat, The Namesake.....

I craved for 'The Marilyn' i love...

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN (Dir : Simon Curtis)

Its a very interesting flick with a sensitive subject dealing with the fear and insecurities of a showgirl,an actress..We all know about the latter days of Marilyn Monroe..her addiction to drugs, alcohol, erratic relationships,indifferences with her directors, taking a toll on her professional as well as personal life, ending with a suicide at an early age with overdose of barbiturates,and the film captures her fears with utmost vulnerability,no doubt with that..but somewhere, for me,it was sooooo depressing to visually witness this sight of a matinee idol that i ve been mesmerized with since my childhood! I wish they could have shown more of the chirpy,sexy,vulnerable,dumb blonde diva that we have been in love with,all these years! The enigma of Marilyn was somewhere missing..!! ;'(

An uneven story buoyed by a captivating performance by Michelle Williams, a well deserved Golden Globe...

Arthur Jacobs: "Marilyn, is it true you wear nothing in bed but Perfume?"

Marilyn Monroe: "Darling, as I'm in England let's say I sleep in nothing but Yardley's lavender" ;))

My Experiments with LUST..!!

Lust's passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes!!

How many times in our growing up years have we felt this extreme lust for someone? A childhood crush, a fantasy hero, a greek god, a scintillating damsel in chiffon?? (Well..have never felt the same for the last one for sure!) Its hard to control such feelings specially in those years,when puberty knocks at the door with awful streak of facial hairs, a change over of vocal tone and an early morning arousal too hard to control! Ah...well..u name it!

Attending a lecture session in the classroom, listening quite intently,when suddenly u realise none of wot being said makes any sense to u coz all u ve been doing is noticing every gesture, the movement of the lips, the bulging biceps, the strong arms,the long large stout fingers gesturing towards you or the blackboard, and the well endowed bubble b...(oops! did i say that!)...I wonder,wot could ve happened if i'd had gone up,grabbing him by the sides (nope, m not using the actual word here) ,bringing him closer,feeling his breath,could ve kissed him intensely??? What could ve happened at the max..a punishment? a laughing stock in front of the class?? expelled?? what???

I was and a m still a pathetic loser when it comes to Mathematics (who invented it btw? hello G.K.?), but then for my lesser interest in this subject and my subsequent failures in it i'd definitely like to blame my private tutor for not being the regular 'strict scary middle age sir with a moustache' ! He was merely a college guy himself with his absolute indianised version of Jude law looks (sans the hazel eyes of course!) and with the cute stammering at times, specially with words starting with 'd' (no no..i mean decimel,decibel..like that?)..

Now who would be interested in those numerical games,pseudo algebras and geometric squares when u have a delicious pie kept in front of u !! which makes me think,why do private tutors always have to sit in front of u and not by your side? well..all i hoped for was a power cut, coz then, he had to come and sit next to me with the aid of two candle lights (candle light romance with algebras!),and those were such moments when i used to go weak on my knees, literally! He used to smell incredibly sexy (sans any deo or cologne) and for the first time i found men who smoke...to be edible! (Cigarette smoking is injurious to health....might cause bee stung lips,u never know!) What could ve happened if i'd had said 'Sir,can you please stop your candlelight algebras and switch on to some candle light romance instead?? He could have laughed?? yelled?? blabbered? run away?? What?????

                                                                                                                                     to be continued......

Movies and bouquet of roses!!

Amidst my oscar movie mania which began few days before, the LGBT film festival commenced today..fresh new films,some documentaries, panel discussions,meeting some incredibly sweet friends and someone's knocking at the door with a bouquet of roses!! ;)) a feel good experience all over...again! Waiting for some new line ups in the next two days ;))

The Love Songs....

I danced before my Giridhara

I danced before my Giridhara...!

Again and again I danced....

To please that discerning critic,

And put His former love to the test...

I put on the anklets

Of the love of Shyam,

And behold! My Mohan stays true.

Worldly shame and family custom

I have cast to the winds.

I do not forget the beauty of the Beloved

Even for an instant,

                        Mira is dyed deeply in the dye of Krsna...!!

Mine is Gopal,

the Mountain-Holder;

there is no one else.

On his head he wears the peacock-crown:

He alone is my husband.

Father, mother, brother, relative:

I have none to call my own.

I've forsaken both God,

                                         and the family's honor:

                                         what should I do?

                                                                                

I've sat near the holy ones,

and I've lost shame before the people.

I've torn my scarf into shreds;

I'm all wrapped up in a blanket.

I took off my finery of pearls and coral,

 and strung a garland of wildwood flowers.

With my tears,

I watered the creeper of love that I planted;

Now the creeper has grown spread all over,

and borne the fruit of bliss.

The churner of the milk churned with great love.

When I took out the butter,

no need to drink any buttermilk.

I came for the sake of love-devotion;

seeing the world,

I wept.

Mira is the maidservant of the Mountain-Holder:

now with love He takes me across to the further shore.

Laaj...!!

                                                                           

                       How lovely are her curls, 

                       filled with braided jasmine; 

                       her face is brilliant as lightning;

                       her movements intoxicating...

                                                                                        Krishna caught hold of me!

                                                                           Krishna caught hold of me and suddenly,,,,,,,,,,,,,

                     he kissed my face...!!

From my head, my scarf fell;

my scarf went slipping from my head,                                              

slipping...

Why does he tease me so?

Why does he tease me so?

Nand's darling [i.e., Krishna] is just that willful...

By force he stole away my honor,

by force he stole away my honor...!!

Krishna will not heed me...

                                     To whom can I speak my heart when he does not listen?

                                     Oh, mother!

                                     Why does he tease me?

   

                                                                                            A small pot full of yogurt...

 I was taking a pot full of yogurt down the road

 I heard his footstep, 

 I heard his footstep and my heart swelled and, began to pound,

thumping.........!!

Why does he tease and torment me?                           

 He caught me and all my bangles broke...!!                  

O, mother!

Krishna will not heed me...

To whom can I speak my heart..

when he does not listen?

Oh Krishna!

Why do you tease me?

                                                                           Courtesy :      Devdas

                                                                           Composition : Pandit Shri Birju Maharaj

Mathura Nagarpati Kahe tum Gokul Jaaon.....

Subah subah ka khyaal aaj

Wapas gokul chal mathura raaj

Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum gokul jaaon

Manohar vesh chhod nand raaj

Sar se utaarke sundar taaj

Raj dand chhod bhumi par vaaj

Phir kaahe baansuri bajaao

Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum gokul jaao

Kaun sa anokha geet gaye pee kakool

Raj paat jaise aaj bhai dhool

Kaun sa anokha geet gaaye pee kakool

Birhan laage phir hridaya akool

Raj kaaj man na lagaao

Mathura nagarpati kkahe tum Gokul jaao

Poor naari saari vyakul nayan

Kusum sajaa lage kantak shayan

Poor naari saari vyakul nayan

Raat bhar madhav jaagat bechain

Kaahe aadhi raat saarathi bulaayo

Mathura nagarpati…..

Dheere dheere pahunchat jamuna ke teer

Sunsaan panghat mridul sameer

Dheere dheere pahunchat jamuna ke teer

Khan khan madhav birha madeer

Use kaahe bhool na paao

Mathura nagarpati….

Tumhari piriya ab puri gharvaali

Doodh navan ghivoo din bhar khaali

Biraha ke aansoon kab ke, ho kab ke ponch daali

Phir kaahe dard jagaao

Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum Gokul jaao

Viraha Raas...........

               
Bahu Manorathe Saaju Abhisaare Pehenu Sunil Bes        

              Kajara Nayaane Salaja Bayane Kusume Sajaanu Kes       

                       Sakhi Hum Mohan Abhisaare Jaawoon

                       Bolo Hum Etak Sukh Kahaan Paawoon

     
Jamunaar Paare Gahana Aandhaare Ghanane Pavana Maajhe

          Piya Setha Mor Bedana Katar Mohe Laage Baythe Aache

                                    Sakhi Hum Mohana Abhisaare Jawoon
                                    Bolo Hum Etak Sukh Kahaan Paawoon.....

                                              

                                         

       Sakhi Chira Abhaagini Hum

       Baythe Ekaakini Pohaanu Rajani Tabu Naa Aailo Shyaam

                                         Sakhi Chira Abhaagini Hum...........

              Krishna Kajara Pighala Sajaja Nayaner Neer Dhaare

                E Kathin Patha Britha Manaratha Biphala Abhisaare

                           Sakhi Hum Kabuhu Na Abhisaare Jaawoon

                            Dukh Naa Etak Seh Nahi Paawoon

             

                

         
Britha Manorathe Saaju Abhisaare Pehenu Sunil Bes,
 Kajara Nayaane Salaja Bayane Kusume Saajaanu Kes

                                      Fir Aajyu Mohan Abhisaare Jawoon

                                   Sakhi Bol Etak Dukh Kahaan Pawoon

A FRIENDSHIP DAY TREAT..!!

One's impeccably cute and the other one's saucy and charming and that's theirs as well as the film's sole USP..They share a great camaraderie on screen..but...they ain't a lovey dovey couple and thankfully,that works in its favour..Its more of an urbane buddy flick than a romance! The film has been wrongly hyped as a Valentine's day treat for the couples, maybe it would have worked more as a Friendship day treat for the teens! The film doesn't redefine the genre of mills and boons' flicks,but neither it goes too high on the emotional quotient, but.. there are portions where the film dips terribly post interval but somehow saves it up with a notable climax!! Giants like Boman Irani and Ratna Pathak Shah have been wasted in insignificant roles! One time watch!

P.S. : Don't go by the critics,as always Karan Johar has paid them ransom amount,because the film doesn't deserve a 4/5 rating,as most of the critics have rated it by now...at the max. 2.5 to 3 !!

Watch you sleep...!

Watch you sleep                           

Dream and roll over

with a half-turned

smile on your face,

an exposed and naked leg

your hair escaping you

like spilling starlight

Watch you sleep

Watch you sleep

when I kiss

the tiniest sample

of skin on your cheek

and know you wake

when I'm gone

and am gone

until again you sleep

When you wake!

Watch you wake!

Watch you sleep...

The way to a man's heart...!

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach             

food for the soul or food for the mind?

u know it so very well...

teasing u in the kitchen while u play hard on with pots and pans ;)

Babes,u do the cooking,lemme stick to my teasing...

The smiles,the laughter,the love making that we shared in the kitchen,

that filled my life with glee..

For when, I am with u in there,

I found the child in me.. ;)

Rituparno's Bonolata...!!

I love films that aesthetically merges the conscious and semi conscious trance of the human psyche..very seldom film makers have explored the terrain of the surreal world..Film maker Rituparno Ghosh has somewhat successfully explored this side with subtlety in his tale of a bored spinster Bonolata in Bariwali (Lady of the house),where the lady's day to day events merges with her dreams,creating a beautiful collage of human emotions,for instance the sequence where she dreams of her wedding day colliding with the rituals(being performed by women folk,along with Prosonno decked up as a lady) following the death of her would be husband bitten by a snake,with the monosha mongol (traditional religious narrative of the goddess of the snakes) playing in the background! After years of living a monotonous life accompanied by a maid servant Malati and an effeminate retainer Prosonno ,she goes through an emotional turmoil with the arrival of a director with his film unit to shoot a film at her spacious ancestral house,she gets emotionally attached to the man,and in her dreams she attains for that physical desire of a married woman,she has been deprived of all these years.In one such dream sequence,she comes to his bedroom decked up as his wife with a glass of milk,asking him the arrival of the month of falgun,in the very next shot,he takes out a tagore's novel and slashes out the glued pages of the book with a knife..stains of blood sprinkles onto her face..the first sign of marital bliss!

In her surreal world,she visualizes the maid 'malati' as a bride specially after she watches her kissing her boyfriend on a storm stuck afternoon which also coincides with the news of malati living the her job as her maid due to her upcoming marriage

Exclusively for you.....thammi !! ( in bangla )

Manasha Panchali has stayed with me forever,courtesy - my granny! Today, she is no more..i dedicate this to her..
( Excerpts from Rituparno Ghosh's Bariwali... )

hoilo modhu maash e biya, baashor shaajai modhu kolosh diya.                        

holud chondon diya,Chaand er nondon boron kori giya,                            
Dhonopoti'r koinna je shundor! Chaand er nondon jamai Lokkhindhor!
chokher jol'e bhaashay baap'e maay'e..poti'r shathe Chaand er puri jaay

modhu maash e biya, baashor shajai modhu kolosh diya.
modhu maash e, modhur o milon! kolosh kolosh modhur aayojon,
holud diya shonar boron gaa,koinna re mor shob'e deikkhha jaa
modhu maash e biya,jaage paara ulluddhoni diya!

ranga cheli..shonar olonkaare,chokher jol'e shaajailo koinnare
shohag shaaje chhili ghor'er kon'e
porer ghore pathaimu kemon'e


modhu maash e biya, baashor shaajai modhu kolosh diya.
holud chondon diya,Chand er nondon boron kori giya,
joto e modhu deo na kolosh bhoira...
kopaaler likhon khondai kemon koira!

chompok o nogori dekhe roop er 'o tulona                                                          
sadager er beti koinna,onek olonkar
konoko konkono golaay gojomotir haar

Chaand er puri chhaaira jaailo shonge Lokhinndhor
sontali porbot e koinna'r lohar bashorghor

lohaar baashor ghor'e,
shonar shohaag uthaal paathal kor'e..
baashor ghor'e shotin'o naagini
Lokkhindhor re dongshaailo omoni......
shonar boron bisher jaalay bhaashe
baashor boibo kola'ar o maandaash 'e

kisher biya hoilo modhu maashe!!
bashor boibhab kolar'o maandash 'e
modhu mashe biya, kola tolaay ulluddhoni diya

biyar uluddhoni,kola tolaay jotek 'o romoni,                                                    
shopto (7) bodhu modhu kolosh kaandh'e
sheel er por'e maatir bhaando raakhe...
naaraay sheel 'e paayer paara diya
nijer kopaal nijei bhaange maaiyya

hoilo modhu maash e biya, baashor shaajai modhu kolosh diya.
baaper shohag maayer aador baare,
bhaanga kopaal kemne juri tobe!!

Mahanagar@Kolkata..

Aangshik Chandragrahan (Partial Lunar Eclipse..!)

Director Suman Mukhopadhyay's Mahanagar@Kolkata is based on three short stories by Nabarun Bhattacharjee that deals with the real and surreal textures of the lives of people living in a metropolitan city! One special aspect of the film which intrigued me a lot is the marvelous depiction of a surrealistic dream sequence in the third part of the story Aangshik Chandragrahan ( Partial Lunar Eclipse)

The self obsessed almost-crazy Rohit (Chandan Roy Sanyal) watches in a hallucinatory trance on the night of a partial lunar eclipse, Rongili (his wife,played by Rituparna Sengupta) consigned to the flames after a series of detailed and cruel rituals in preparation of Sati,the other women's faces are painted in silver to heighten the illusion.Her red sari floats across the funeral pyre, across the burning ghat, to try and find a landing somewhere in the multi-storied block of flats where she began her loveless life with Rohit.

The Sati scene is visually stunning and beautiful but does not relate to Rohit's character, a modern-day, upstart US returned MBA who has hardly had any experience of Sati except from books and hearsay..an insight into the life of a confused young man on-the-go depressed and suicidal because his love life, within marriage and out of it, has gone haywire!!

Which somewhere throws a flash light into the inner psyche of the people living in a urbane world filled with fear,phobia,striving to make it hard,depression,boredom,loveless marital lives,sleeping pills,abortions,childless ness,extra marital affairs etc..

Sizzling Chikni needs a Saroj Khan !!

I hated it at the first time when i saw the promo, but later when i saw the full song on youtube,i couldn't help but applaud Katrina for setting the rustic tone & raunchiness of her act almost in perfect sync,specially the portions where she uninhibitedly lures the audience with her jiggling midriff & bosom along with the pelvic thrusts! Watch out for the step where she gyrates with the line 'pahua chara ke aayi..' and u would agree that she has come a long way from her barbie girl image to a rustic seductress onscreen..and i loved the fact that apart from her thunderous moves, she did a lot with her eyes as well,at least she tried..well,of course there can't be a second Madhuri when it comes to emoting with eyes !!

But yet again (like most of the item numbers these days!) she is heavily let down by the choreographer Ganesh Acharya ( he did ruined 'beedi jalaile' as well!) who is only best known for his Govinda style numbers! This was actually a tailor made number for Saroj Khan! Or even Farah could ve done it better in her 'munni' style..any panga with her recently KJO???

CHIKNI sizzles in the hindi version of 'Kombdi palali' while Kjo selects the wrong Choreographer !!

P.S : Don't compare this number with Helen's 'Mungda' or MD's 'Humko aajkal hai'..though in the same format,those were of different genre..

WELCOME 2012..!!

The year 2011 ended on a positive note with a splendid outing with an awesome company,thanks to my friend Kaustav! and started on an equally charming note with one of the closest person of my life,thank 'YOU'! New year,new hopes,new dreams,resolutions to work on..more shopping (yes!),more dvds' (oh yes!), books (absolutely yes!), more perfume (yeahhhh!),early morning jogging (wake up!) ;( gymming (ya ya ya ya ya ;'/)...cut down on the booze (hmmm!), more fridays, more movies, few more outings on the list (travel time!),partying (yipppeeee! arre yaar! tequilla shots again! hmm...),at home during durga puja (hopefully!),more music for the soul along with the rains,sea shore (again!),a hand to always hold onto..time to make some sincere 'bang on' decisions and to stop making hasty decisions! make out time for friends,family! and most importantly,with a hope and a prayer to see ma,baba,all my well wishers,friends and family in good health and prosperity! Amen !!